Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

Remembering David today and everyday.

More moments of joy...

God's Little Princess 2 just said something I had to share.

Side Note: My uncle is very sick (please be praying for him) and I am looking for the top ten funniest movies so I can get them for him. God tells us to laugh even in our most depressing times since we, even during those times, have the joy of the Lord within us. Also, they say laughter is the best medicine. Regardless, the girls are watching tv with their cousins while I was surfing the net. They are watching something on the Disney channel.

God Little Princess 2 is watching a program which must have said something about rainbows because she sweetly says "Momma, one day can we go to the end of the rainbow?" She then starts reassuring Cousin 1 and I why this is totally worth our time. Looking back and forth between us she says "Did you know that every rainbow has a leprachaun at the end of it? Too, every leprachaun has a huge pot of gold with him. I know because a leprachaun came to my school and messed up my room and told us that he was at the end of the rainbow if we wanted to find him."

Cousin 1 and I calmly exchanged a smiling glance since we didn't want to start laughing out loud.

I so love my children!!!! They are the best things EVER!!!!!

God Bless and Keep Laughing,
Carly

Moments of Joy continued..

I have posted random moments of joy before. Well, today I had another one.

God's Little Princess 2 and I were playing restaurant in the play kitchen this morning. As we start to play, she was cutting up play dough(the food) and says, "What would you like to order, ma'am?" I then reply, "I would love some strawberries." and she promptly states, "We don't have that, ma'am." I then think for a second and ask for something else and she repeats that they don't sell it here. I try to come up with something that I think all restaurants would have so I ordered a hamburger and then in her sweetest voice she says "Ma'am, we aren't a McDonald's, we don't sell hamburgers here. How about chicken?"

It took everything I had not to laugh out loud. She wasn't saying it in a sassy voice at all, she was so serious. It was soo cute.

These girls crack my stuff up.

Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me to laugh at what they do.

God Bless,
Carly

Awesomeness

We are back from our awesome vacation in Port Austin. We rented a cottage on Lake Huron for a week. We went with my mom, niece, and nephew. HOTTIE stayed Saturday and Sunday and went back to work on Monday. He then joined us again Thursday night after softball.

God's Little Princess 1 loved the water. That little one is a fish. We had to pull her out of the water every single day kicking and screaming. She hated getting out but the poor kid burns like an egg on the sidewalk on a hot day. Despite numerous sunscreen reapplication, we could only stay for 3 or 4 hours at a time. She would have stayed all day if we let her.

God's Little Princess 2 is the opposite of her sister. She loves the land. She could play in the sand from day to night. Her favorite thing to do was create sand gardens. She would use her rake to create rows and she would then pretend to plant the seeds and then would water them. I even got a video of her doing it while she was singing. It was the cutest thing. By the end of the week though she was playing in the water with the rest of them.

My favorite quotes of the week:

First quote-
I was singing one of my favorite Addison Road songs acappella in the car. God's little Princess 2 interrupted me and said "Mommy, I wish I could sing...", She then paused for a second and I was thinking that my adorable love was going to say like you mommy but instead she says "like the other girl who sings this song."

Ouch!!! Sorry I'm no Jenny!

Side Note: We love Addison Road. So much that the girls love to look at their blog and see pictures of them as they go on their tour. God's Princess 1 even wanted to sing one of the songs for Uncle Corey's birthday. It was so cute. She practiced all the way home from Port Austin.

Second quote-
One day we went to Caseville to check it out. The girls were in their car seats and we were waiting for Nana to come out of the cabin. God's little Princess 1 looked at me sweetly and asked "Mommy, do I have yellow teeth?" I then replied, "No honey, why would you ask that?" She then replies "Because you do!!!!"

What????????? Wow, God's Little Princess 1 is going to be a dentist when she grows up with all of that concern with her momma's teeth.

Poor Mommy, where's the lovin?

This is how it should have gone:

First qoute- "Momma, you have the most beautiful singing voice ever! When I grow up I want to sing just like you."

Second qoute- "Momma, you sure are beautiful but you gotta kick that pop and coffee habit, it makes your teeth kinda yellow."

Side Note:I promise I do brush my teeth everyday.

This is an extremely long post but I do have to tell you to check out the blog comments from the last post. Julie from one of my favorite blogs left me a comment. I was sooooo excited. She references a project that I did with the kids over vacation. I'll put up pictures later so you can do it with your kiddos. It's very cool. Regardless, two famous people read my blog. Isn't that so cool?????

Also, I wanted to tell mom thank you for also reading. Four readers now, YAHOOOO!!!!!

God Bless,
Carly

In response to reader demand...

I will change the header to three. Thanks Chris for reading. Three...I'm moving up in the world.

God Bless,
Carly

By the way...

I'm supposed to be working on my grad project. I totally wrote on Facebook that I was going to get them done early since I have two papers due on Monday.

So much for that one, huh?

Enjoy this wonderfully mild summer day,
Carly

Laura inspired me!

Laura inspired me to update my blog and since Meeg has me on her list of blogs I totally felt compelled to update it for that reason too.

You all know that one of my favorite blogs is Big Mama's and I was checking out her latest blog entry the other day and skipped over to one of her friend's blog. In her friend's header it stated the name of that blog and below the header it read:

For the tens of readers who follow my blog everyday

Since she's Big Mama's friend, she has a lot to live up to. I'm sure Big Mama gets tons of readers looking at her blog every day. I just thought that was so funny that she was honest and wrote that. So I've been mulling over doing the same thing but with one small exception:

For the two readers who follow my blog everyday

So, Meeg and Rebekah this one's for you!!! Check out the new and improved heading.

God Bless,
Carly

Praise God!!!

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers! We are home again. Emma and Matt spent the night at the hospital while I stayed with a sick Lilly at home. Today they sent us home. The doctor said that there was a little boy who he saw yesterday with the same of the some symptoms as Emma and the little boy took a serious turn for the worst. The doctor put Emma in the hospital as a precaution. She did get some IV antibiotics today before we left. She seems like a little better, we will watch how the night goes. I'll keep you updated. Thanks again!
Carly

Please Have Everyone You Know Praying!!!!!

Emma and Lilly are sick again. Emma has seemed much worse than Lilly. I went to the doctor with Emma this morning and she got a shot of antiboiotics this morning. The doctor called this afternnon to see if there was any change, which there really hasn't. Thus, he told us that he wants us to admit her to the hospital.

Please, please pray for Emma and Lilly's health. Please be praying in particular for Emma.

Thanks!
Carly

Happy Birthday, David!

Dear David,

Oh, how I wish you could have had your birthday "day" today. You would have had a special breakfast of your choice, Mommy would have brought you a special birthday lunch during your lunch time, and then tonight we would have had a special treat after dinner. Tomorrow, since Mommy had grad school tonight, we would have gone out to dinner to celebrate your birthday. You probably would have picked McDonald's, just like your little sisters. While you were there, you might have said, "Mom, just let God's Little Princess 1 and God's Little Princess 2 play on the playset, I'm too big for that stuff now." You and I would chat as the girls played. I would be sure to sit across the table from you since it isn't cool to sit next to your mom in public. Then, we would let you stay up late to watch a movie but not too late since it's a school night. We would eat popcorn and your dad and I would sit on the couch with you. But not snuggling becuase you would tell me that you are too big for that too. I would be sad becuase I would realize that my precious baby boy wasn't my baby anymore. I would think that you were growing up right before my eyes. We would have been so excited because we would have had a birthday weekend coming up this weekend since cousin Gaven's birthday party is on Saturday. So, we would have had your birthday party on Sunday. I bet you would have wanted a Spiderman party. We would have invited a couple of boys from school. It would have been awesome!

But, that isn't what today is. Today instead is a day that is just like any other for most people. The visual reminder that today is a very special day, the day when my little boy was born and lived even if for a short time, is not here.

I am so sad.

I miss you so much. I wish I could remember you more. I wish we would have had more time. I wish I would have documented my pregnancy more so I would have more pieces of you left. But it doesn't matter what I wish!

The truth is cold, hurtful, and smoothering. It takes my breath from me. It leaves me feeling cranky and exhausted. I hate what it has made me into. I am not the same girl I used to be and that makes me angry. I want that girl back.

But with all this being said, Precious David, you are worth the hurt, the pain, and the disappointment. The fact is this time is only a blip on God's screen. One day I will see you again. Although it will be many, many, many years from now, I can wait. The fact is I will have you for eternity. You will always be my first born and you will always be my boy.

I love you so much, David, and I miss you every second of every day.

Happy 6th Birthday, Love!

The world may forget, but your mommy doesn't!

I will love you forever,
Mommy

Fireproof

Ladies, this movie is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You so have to watch it. I gotta get up in 6 short hours and will have talk about this more another time.

More to come.....

Please Pray for God's Little Princess 1

God's Little Princess 1 is having her tonsils and adnoids out this Friday. Please be praying for her. Please claim for her that she will have no complications and that she will come out of the surgery fine. Thank you so much!

God Bless,
Carly

Our Story

I had to create a autobiographical piece for my grad class. We were told to choose a certain time period of our life and then write about that. It could be three hours, three days, or ten years. It didn't matter as long as we didn't tell the story of our whole life just a part of it.

Naturally, I wrote about our experience with David's life and death. It is so funny becuase I haven't ever loved writing until this class. I didn't think I would be able to write my thoughts and feelings about David down. Actually, I was quite nervous about it. But I loved being able to write about how David was and our story afterwards. So much that it is 6 pages long. I just couldn't stop. I had to say it all. Isn't that awesome how when it's on God's time God really flows?

My goal is to somehow put it here on the blog for all of you to read and for any moms who stumble upon my blog. Yes, the story is about David but it's also about God's grace and that is what a mom who is grieving needs to hear. That even in the darkest days of your life, God is still there. Grieving with you. That there is hope.
So, I'll get HOTTIE on it. He is so good at all things technical.


I can't wait for you to read it. I hope it gives you a better picture of who our David was and how much he impacted our lives and the lives around us.


God Bless and anxiously waiting for 50 degree weather,
Carly

Supergirl Sunday

Every year Superbowl Sunday marks a special occasion here in our household but not because of football or Superbowl parties but because it's really Supergirl Sunday.

Every year when HOTTIE goes off to his man fest at my brother-in-law's house, the girls and I have our own party. Where we do the things that we want and have our own fun(much like when HOTTIE goes out of town).

This year's festivities included:
-getting a manicure and pedicure from mommy
-getting happy meals from McDonald's
-gettting hot fudge sundaes
-making playdough
-playing Lucky Duck
-watching movies
-and last but not least staying up an hour past our bedtime

This year turned out to an awesome Supergirl Sunday. No housework, no schoolwork, no grad school homework, just me and my girls spending time together and having fun. I can't wait for the many more Supergirl Sundays we have ahead of us. I can only imagine how much fun we'll have when the girls get a little bit older and they actually like to go shopping. But for now, I'll appreciate these Supergirl Sundays when my babies are still babies and they LOVE being around their momma. Can a girl ask for anything more?

Joy moment #4: Supergirl Sunday

God, you are truly awesome in every way and I LOVE that you allow me to make such great traditions to share with my precious loves. I am so excited to see what you have planned for Supergirl Sunday next year.

I hope you ladies enjoyed your Supergirl Sundays too.

Thankful,
Carly

Amazing Part 2

This is a continuation of the first post so if you didn't see it please check it out.

God is so good!!!!!! Before you read the read of this post, please look in the comments section of the original post. What I am about to say isn't as cool if you don't read it for yourself.


ARE YOU SERIOUS????????????????????????? THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK ALICA AFTERIMAGE WROTE ME A COMMENT. DUDE, THAT MADE MY DAY, MY WEEK. CAN YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT SUCH A THING COULD HAPPEN TO ME? THAT A REAL LIVE AUTHOR READ SOMETHING THAT I WROTE, AN AUTHOR WHO WROTE SOMETHING SO AMAZING. (I'm writing the above in capital letters because I am astonished at how awesome God is and I'm REALLY, REALLY excited!)

I can't wait to tell the people in my grad class. I can't wait to tell Dr. Walters, my awesome professor by the way. They are going to flip.

HOTTIE had asked if I had written the author back yet and I haven't. I don't want to seem like a total nerd and write something dumb so I'll wait until I'm calm and collected and then write her back. I still can't believe that I, Carly, get to write BACK to the woman who wrote Alica Afterimage. OH MY GOSH!!!

Thank you God for such an amazing opportunity!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!

Joy moment #3: Getting a comment from Lulu Delacre.

Thankful for a God who loves me just that much,
Carly

Must KNOW Medical Information

Three times in one day. Wow, I'm getting to be like MckMamma, in a good way, I promise, in a good way.

Ok, I am going to totally embarrass myself for the greater cause. This next entry is a little graphic, so please don't let your children read this.

I am sacrificing my own honor for all of you. So, please remember this. This out of love for my friends and family.

Today, I experienced something I hope and pray none of you, or either of you since there are only two of you who read this blog, never ever have to experience. I have a... I can't even say it without laughing....hemorrhoid.

Don't ask me how or why because I'm not really sure. I thought really old ladies and pregnant ladies got those. Since I am neither(bummer to the latter), I have no idea how I get to be blessed with this experience. At least if I was pregnant, I could get a cute baby in the end. But no such luck, so for the lucky ladies who have not experienced before mentioned ailment, I have some sage-like advice.

Tip 1:
Don't ignore the pain on your bum.
Why?
My mom said if you don't take care of it right away, you have to go to the doctor's and get it cut off or burned off. WHAT???????????????????????????????????? Are you kidding me????? Who signed me up for this gig?

Tip 2:
Use the medicated wipes.
Why?
According to the nice pharmacist at our local Kroger, after using the restroom toilet paper often irritates the area and can make it bleed(then you have to go to the doctors and we've already discussed why that CAN'T happen). The wipes also have aloe and vitamin e to help it heal(got that one from the package, just trying to help you all out.I gotta keep my readers fully informed of any hemorrhoid information.)

Tip 3:
When asking said pharmacist about hemorrhoid cremes and wipes, act as if it is your husband that has the hemorrhoid, not you!
Why?
To make you feel better about having to ask about hemorrhoid creme in front of others. Also, because Heaven knows dignified ladies who are not pregnant or who are not over 60 DO NOT have to experience painful bums because of hemorrhoids.


Tip 4:
Don't get a hemorrhoid. It totally sucks!
Why?
No explanation needed.


HOTTIE thinks this is quite humorous and suggested maybe we go out and buy some hemorrhoid pillows. Ha, ha, ha.

My mom's response is "You didn't get them when you were pregnant, consider yourself lucky!"

I hope this helps, although I hope you never have to use the information!

I'm so glad God can use me to help others.

God Bless,
Carly

Amazing

Tonight at grad school, we were discussing a book we have to read during our break. It's a book called Alicia Afterimage. It's a book about a teenager named Alicia who died in a car accident. The book is filled with various accounts from her mom, dad, and friends about her life. It is a true story. Needless to say, it's a hard book for me to read. I have read the first chapter and last chapter, which happen to be the accounts from Alicia's mom, and couldn't get much farther.

As we were talking, I mentioned that the book was particularly hard book for me to read since I lost my son. That's when one of the other ladies mentioned she had lost her son when he was 11. Then, another lady said that she lost her son when he was seven weeks old of SIDS.

Isn't that amazing(not in a good way)? Three people in one class had experienced losing a child. The weird thing is I'm not in a class of 20 ladies, I'm in a class with 7 other people. Wow, how weird is that? God is truly that gracious to bring all three of us together and I can't wait to see what he does with this and what healing will come out of this. This is no mistake! First, the teacher has taught this exact class for 20 years and this is the first time ever she has used Alicia Afterimage as a course text. Secondly, three out of eight people have experienced losing their sons. Lastly, one of the ladies almost had a heart attack when I mentioned David's name. Her son's name was also David. She then asked what my David's middle name was and was stunned when I said Alexander because her son's middle name is Allen(which is my dad's middle name and was almost David's middle name) This is no coincidence, ladies! I am so excited to see what God has in store for me this semester!!! Let the healing continue!!

Moments of Joy - 1 and 2

I wanted to start documenting my moments of joy.
1. Do you remember me saying that I think I was meant to be a southern lady? Well, I've decided God's little princess 1 was meant to grow up in the Bronx. Everytime you ask her something, she says "shure". It is the cutest thing ever! It makes me chuckle everytime and I think of the Bronx and New York everytime she says it. By the way, I went to New York City before the kids were born and LOVED it! I can't wait to take the girls there one day. I promise I'm not teasing New Yorkers.

2. I made cookies for my Family Book Club at school last night. It was a recipe off the side of the cake mix box. It was the first time I've made cookies with a cake mix. Regardless, the girls and HOTTIE loved them. Well, this morning God's little princess 2 got to have 1 after breakfast. Yah, you heard right, after breakfast. It happens sometimes ladies, it just does. Well, she kept on talking about how she wanted more and I said no(since it's 9:00 A.M.). I closed up the container they are in and walk away. Well, not more than a minute later she has the top off and I remind her that we aren't eating anymore cookies. So then she says "Momma, I'm just smelling them. They smell soooooooo good!" AAWWW! My heart just melts when they say really cute things.

Thank you Jesus for these moments of Joy today! Keep'em coming and open my eyes!

Blessed while waiting to become the woman God wants me to be,
Carly

YAHOOOOO!!!!!!

God's Little Princess 2 is back in full swing!!! She is now her normal spunky, independent, and head strong self. THANK YOU, JESUS!!!!! Thank you for your prayers.

More to come....

Prayers Needed

Please be praying for God's Little Princess 2. She is STILL feeling very yucky and hasn't been eating much. We are almost 24 hours vomit free so that is very exciting but she still has really bad diarrhea. Please pray that she gets her energy back and starts to feel better. I'm hoping that tonight's sleep will give her body time to recharge and she'll be herself again. She has totally been laying on the floor or on the couch all the time. She doesn't play. So please be praying for her health.

I know it seems that the flu should be no big deal but every time the girls are sick, it sends me to a place I don't like to dwell. I worry about them so much. You all know what I'm trying to say without having to speak the words. David's death affects everything, it touches everything. I hate it!

Regardless, PRAY for our princess. Also, pray for health and wellness for God's Little Princess 1 too.

Thanks!
God Bless,
Carly

Flu, Report Cards, Skits, OH MY!!!!

Once again, a quick update when I have other far more important things to do like:

-Nursing poor God's Little Princess 2 back to health. The poor girl caught the flu that is going around. Poor Auntie Linnie had God's Little Princess 2 on her lap at our local Chili's when... surprise... God's Little Princess 2 throw up all over the table. Poor little girl and poor Auntie Linnie. GROSS! The flu bug took over for the evening and I thought we were done but low and behold round 2 came tonight. Pray for our princess. I pray this is over and done with. Also pray for God's Little Princess 1 not to get it.

-My favorite time of year is upon us- REPORT CARDS! So much to do so little time when you have a pukey kid(well expect for blogging since that is SOOOOO important. See where my priorities are.).

-I am going to be in a skit at church this coming Sunday. I am still learning my lines since I am such a procrastinator. Pray that I get them because I have a feeling that this skit could really help some people. It's about our current economic crisis.

Well, it's time to check on my princess again. No throwing up in two hours. YEAH!

Have a great night and praying for a fluless season for you!

Carly

Upcoming Posts

Check back for posts on the following:
-More goals for 2009
-Recap of 2008
-Ornaments- This year's losses, MIAs, and favorites (I even got pictures for this one. Wow, I'm getting pretty snazzy.)

Have a great night. The Christmas tree is officially done and ready to go in the basement tomorrow morning(as I sleep in by the way). Time for Aurora to go up in it's place. The princesses got a cool interactive Sleeping Beauty Vanity Table for Christmas. Fun, Fun, Fun!

God Bless,
Carly

Christmas Tree Ramblings

I need a break from my Christmas tree putting away process. So, I decided what I needed was a cup of hot tea and a quick post on my blog. Just the necessities of life ladies, just the necessities. Well, excluding the hour I spent reading blogs before I began putting the Christmas tree away as I had to check on Baby Stellan over at My Charming Kids and the latest ramblings of Big Mamma over at her blog.

Side note- Funny Story. Tonight I was cracking up at the latest entry over at Big Mamma's blog. I love to read her blog. Really I think I was meant to be a southern lady, I just grew up in the wrong state. So, I get my southern fix from Big Mamma. Regardless, she highlighted the best parts of her past year. As previously stated, I was laughing hysterically. So HOTTIE asks, "What are you laughing about over there?". My response is "I'm reading a post from one of my bloggy friends, Big Mamma." HOTTIE then turns around as he's playing Star Wars on his Playstation 3 and says, "Does she know she's your friend?". In which I reply, "No, but she's still my friend." You may not find that funny, but I do.

Back on track, this is supposed to be a quick post. It's all good, even though it's a half an hour later. I digress.

I am reading a great book called Conflict Free Living by Joyce Meyer. I got it from my mother-in-law for my birthday. In all honesty, at first I was kinda perturbed and insulted that she bought the book for me. My flesh instantly says, "Why does she think that you need a book like that? She must think you're a horrible mom and wife." But after God gently and then not so gently(due to my lack of listening) reminded me, that maybe THAT attitude is my whole problem. My pride is getting the best of me(I hope that you're noticing the pattern that God is revealing to me, i.e. my last blog entry).

My pride is the stem of all of this. It is the underlying root of my problems with my confidence. God is revealing to me that my confidence comes from him, not from me. I don't need to be confident in myself, I need to be confident in the fact that God is working through me. That he not only counted every hair on my head but gave me my personality for a reason. That I am fearfully and wonderfully made by him. I am no mistake and my personality isn't a mistake either. I need to be confident in the fact that he is GOD and HE doesn't make mistakes. I am perfect in his eyes. I am the apple of his eye. What the world says about me and to me doesn't matter. HE matters and that's all.

Wow, breathe that in. Isn't that amazing? That God not only thinks that about me but he thinks that about us all.

It's time for my life to change, ladies. I can't let my insecurities be met by others. Who cares if someone thinks I'm a lousy mom(which I totally rebuke by the way)? I don't need their approval anymore. I have to do what GOD wants me to do. I need to be confident in the fact that if I need to change he'll let me know and that he'll help me though.

So as 2008 ends, so does the strife in my life. Strife steals joy and I have had too much of that stolen from me already. 2009 is the time to relax, enjoy my family, and laugh. My new saying for 2009:

Laugh, live, love. OFTEN.

So much for a quick post.

Read Joyce Meyers book, it's a great one. Maybe you are just like me and you have some strife in your life that you didn't know about either.

If you need to laugh, check out Big Mamma's blog. She gives me a daily dose.

God Bless,
Carly